Not-So By The Book
by The What-If Writer
Summary: A fic surrounding the Zirkonian Aliens. No romantic interests for the Pearson boys here. First chapter is up. "Commander Skip knew that Tazor and Razor could argue over what colour the sky was back in Zirkon. Now he was stuck with these misfits"
1. Not-So By the Book

_**Not- So By the Book.**_

_**RIGHT before anyone reads on I want to make clear that I'm fed up with all these fics about girls falling in love with one of the Pearson boys.**_

_**Honestly, they all started the same way: Some friend of Toms sitting in his room chattering about his grades.**_

_**Now not all of the fanfics are tiring. That one by CheeleaderGynasticGirl? Hilarious. The main character was badass and her comebacks were witty. Cheers to you, Cheerleader. But some of the others...and the incest ones? really, incest? I mean...not my thing. *shudders***_

_**Anyway I freaking Love those Aliens. So I decided, heck, How about some originality?**_

_**I'm being original because I like being original.**_

ANYWAYS...

* * *

"Really, not looking to shove the blame on anyone, but that last mission? it was completely her fault."

"Ha. Yeah right mister _drop the grenade_..."

"Listen on yourselves!"

The commander's voice cut through their conversation with all the sharpness and quickness of a newly polished knife. Commander Skip of Squadron D stood with his hands on his hips, scowling at (or rather, up) at his two higher soldiers who's banter seemed almost like a second instinct. It was as if they couldn't help it.

It was this constant bickering that sabotaged most of their missions, which was the most common reason Skip tried to get them to do individual tasks that did not require either of them to interact. At all.

But, this was invaders work and sadly it involved a lot of interacting.

"Are you two _completely_ unaware of the importance of this mission?!" The elder Zirkonian asked them in an aggravated tone while rubbing his temple. He could certainly feel a headache coming on...

"Um. Of course, sir!" Tazer straightened up proudly. Razer rolled her eyes at the action.

"He doesn't."

"W-well, you don't either!"

_"Shut up the both of you!"_

The commander forced himself to calm down and sighed deeply. "The importance of this mission is that Zirkon is in desperate need of resources, all of _which_" He put emphasis on the last syllable as he spotted the two glaring at each other, using a harsh tone to get their attention back "Are on this planet that we are approaching. _Understand _that?"

"Yes sir!" Tazor and Razor stood up straight and shouted the reply in unison.

"Good. Now get out of my sight until we arrive. Go and keep an eye on our status. Tazor, keep and eye on Sparks, where ever that soft-headed rookie's wandered off to."

"Yes, sir!"

The commander turned his back and stared grudgingly out the window and into the vast emptiness of space. Honestly, they could argue for an hour over the colour of the sky back in Zirkon...Tazor and Razor (again, seriously, how did two people with such similar names end up in the same team and also view each other with utter loathing?) Were handy soldiers, but Tazor had the brain of a Slycolian bug and Razor had all the sarcasm of an annoying adolence.

How by the rings of Zirkon had he got stuck with them?

And of course there was the engineer. Usually the most critical part of an advance team's operation, it was ironic in how useless they could be at times.

Skip chuckled darkly when he remembered '_engineer previous'_, another soft-headed pacifist who used the term 'not that bad' to describe a Slycolian creature a second before its jaws clamped shut on him.

That particular story kept Sparks in line. Timid, soft-spoken yet somehow talented, Skip had absolutely no idea how he got into the Invader Force at all.

Oh well. He was stuck with these three misfits on their way to a critically important mission. Might as well get on with it.

He grumbled to himself, crossing his arms.

_One thing's for certien. If I hear another argument from those two I'll bash both of their heads together and see if it knocks any sense into them..._

"You heard him, numskull. We're on an important mission so you just stay out of the way"

Tazor growled in annoyance from his position beside the control panel. He had just come in from finding Sparks (he had dragged the four-armed engineer in and thrown him over to the side somewhere) where Razor was filing her lethal nails.

"The commander never said that. And anyway, If anyone gets in the way, it's you and your pretentiousness!"

Razor feigned a gasp "That's a big word for you, numskull. Maybe you should go lie down, you'll hurt yourself"

"Why you-"

"Um...Guys?" A timid voice piped up. Both Zirkonions turned slowly, dangerously, to face its owner. Sparks cowered back slightly, holding up all four appendages to ward off any insults.

No such luck.

"You stay outa this, rookie."

"Yeah, Sparks, why don't you go...be a nerd somewhere else?" Both of them laughed scornfully at his slightly hurt face. Sparks frowned and turned, slowly making his way away from them and to the other side of the room. It was strange, he thought, how two people who argued constantly could possibly find something they agreed in.

Then again, it had been an insult. A lot of Zirkonians liked insults nowadays.

The engineer sighed turned his thoughts to the poor inhabitants of the upcoming planet. He didn't think it was necessary, all this violence. But they did need the resources ..but couldn't they find another way that didn't involve taking it from someone else.

Sparks groaned and rubbed his temples, frustrated with his morality battled.

_Maybe I'll just have to see it through. After all, my family needs to to do this job..._

His thoughts brightened at the memory of his family. He decided that he'd get this horrible ordeal over with and get back to them as soon as possible.

* * *

**_OW MY NECK._**

**_Woot, first chapter is up folks. These Aliens are great to work with..._**

**_Please review!_**


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note.

Alright, I may be putting this on hiatus or maybe even discontinuing it if no one is reading. I really liked this film despite the lame reviews it got from people, but the thing is its no worth putting the chapters up if no one well say if its good or giving some feedback. Heck, I don't even think anyone has read this.

Ah well.

Just be assured that the next chapter may not come for a long time (or not at all) if people haven't noticed this.

**BUT **If people are indeed reading this then please say if you are looking forward to another chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

_What's this? PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY INTERESTED IN A ALIENS IN THE ATTIC FANFIC THAT DOESN'T HAVE INCEST, PAIRINGS WITH PEARSONS OR MARY SUES?_

_I honestly never expected to get reviews for this. BUT Here they are and they're people who agree with me. So, I uploaded the second chapter. I honestly have no idea were this story's going- there's a lot of different ideas I have, Ah well, please review and enjoy!_

* * *

Chapter 2: Equipment and Pods

_Clink, Clink, Clink._

The robotic controls sent its sharp, alarm-like signal reverberating through the once still air, creaking the stiff knobs of the controller back into motion. A single, glowing blue light radiated from the small device in the slightly dark cockpit.

The Commander allowed a small chuckle to himself upon holding such advanced technology- that is, for them. It wasn't everyday a Military Commander was allowed one of the newest in their technological advances...but then again, he was dealing with a slightly newer way of perpetrating planets.

He frowned to himself and almost grumbled while doing so, slipping the controller back onto the control panel and turning towards the thick-glassed windows as he thought. Skip wouldn't pretend he wasn't in his youth anymore, but what bugged him to great extent was that older methods had worked for him in the past- that's why he lived so long in the Commanding profession. But not, however, things had gone a little down the slope.

The Commander blamed it more on the two ruffians he called 'troops' more than the method, though. Darn pieces of-

"Ooff!"

The unmistakable sound of tripping followed by a painful clatter brought the annoyed Commander away from his thoughts. Hands placed behind his back, he looked over his shoulder and sneered upon seeing the youngest member (and newest) of his troop, who'd wandered off a little while ago. "Sparks!"

The sharp bark literary made the younger male jump to his feet, and a single pair of arms fiddled with their fingers while a third went up to his head in a shaky, unsure salute.

"Yes, Commander, sir?" Skip rolled his eyes and resisted to urge to face palm at the sorry, shaky state of the engineer. Of all the spas he couldn't got, the military sent him this one. They were truly trying to get rid of him, weren't they?

Cutting those thoughts aside, he continued, "What's the status report?"

"Oh!" Sparks fumbled with a small device on his arm, examined it quickly before looking back at him with some sort of enthusiasm of doing something right, "We are almost at our destination, sir. Just a few more hours until we r-reach the planet..." Skip didn't miss the way the younger's voice trailed off, but paid it no mind.

"Good." He stated curtly, "Now, were are those other two? They should be preparing the landing pods-"

_"Landing pods prepared SIR!"_

Skip frowned and looked over to find a smug Tazor standing in the doorway, his gun (unnecessarily) slung over his shoulder in a pure show of arrogance. Razor pushed past him, rolling her eyes as she did so.

"He means, Sir, that he helped a little. Give him a snack."

Sparks only managed to stifle a laugh- and lucky for him it was only the Commander beside him who'd heard it- and even he allowed the corner of his lips to curl a little at Razor's words.

Tazor growled loudly as the female examined her sharp, long nails with a snide smirk on her face. "Yah- Well-" He struggled to find a suitable comeback, "Just 'cause you hogged all the controls with your overly sharp fingers!"

Razor rolled her eyes yet again and him, "You wouldn't know controls from a Game-Video Controller."

"Why you-"

_"SHUT UP!"_

During their banter, a certain Commander's temper had boiled to the point. Sparks took a few, hasty and inconspicuous steps back to avoid his wrath, and was now standing with his eyes as wide as plates and grimacing at the scene. Tazor and Razor had frozen on the stop like they usually did when told (loudly) to stop. The Commander clenched his fists and forced himself to calm down.

"Alright, you two." He said slowly, "I don't care if you hate each other more than alarm bells in the morning, I am _ordering_ you to work together or you'll _BOTH_ be on pluming duty in Sector Six for the rest of your lives!"

The two stiffened, and with a slight panic in their eyes, stood straight in a soldier-like manner.

"Yes sir!" The chorused. Skip placed his hands on his hips and rose a brow. He highly, highly doubted it. Then, he noticed Sparks staring at them uneasily.

"Get that look off your face, Sparks." He barked harshly at him, causing the younger to cringe slightly, "You look more of a weakling with that face than you already are!"

An offended, slightly angry mirth invaded the Engineer's looks as his two troop comrades snickered at his expense.

"Alright, Squad. If our calculations are correct, we are nearing our target. Now we all know how to drive, and _land," _He eyed Tazor angrily, and the later rubbed the back of his head uneasily, "These things properly. Now we all know what to do, and for the Love of the Rings, we're going to do it right this time!"

"Yes sir!"

"Good. Now get out of my sight, your all giving me a migraine!"

* * *

_XD_

_Moody Commander is Moody. Please review._


End file.
